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I want to start off by saying that this poem has an interesting idea, and the first sentence is definitely attention-grabbing without being tacky. The only comments I have is that the middle of the poem got a little confusing. I'm confused as about the whole crushing their dreams into diamonds thing, just because it sounds like you are trying to destroy their dreams rather than help them crystallize their dreams into tangible reality. I think you have a lot of interesting imagery here, and while it can border on moderately grotesque, it works well with the overall flow of the poem. Overall, it was a very nice job, and it was one of the better poems I have read.
The Artist thought this was FAIR
1 out of 1 deviants thought this was fair.


JassieMaam Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Wow, thank you. Part of my point was that it was supposed to be a bit grotesque. In my experience getting close to someone is never easy and fun. I went for crushing because I tend to push people toward actually doing what they want, and I know I get rude and annoying, but I try to do it for the best. I always try to get darker things to mesh with things people find more positive in the hopes it will make them think more. I really appreciate you taking the time to write this and am very glad you liked it.
shadowsmokeandfire Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
No problem! And I definitely understand the poem more now that you've explained it!
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