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This is a very interesting haiku, and it is very unusual. It conjures up strange and disturbing images, which, if that is what you wanted to do, then good job. The only comment I have on this poem is that, yes, I understand that as a haiku, it is supposed to be this short, but I truly think this poem could be better longer. That way, you get more space to put images in our heads, make us feel emotions. This just feels too brief to make us feel anything or think for a long time after we finish reading. Overall though, very good poem.
The Artist thought this was FAIR
1 out of 2 deviants thought this was fair.


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