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This is a really good poem, and I like the repetition to add emphasis to the main idea. The only comments I have are that partaking in tea sounds a little awkward when combined with the rest of the poem. Also, I'm not quite sure what you mean by "I face lost". I thought maybe you meant "I face loss", but I wasn't entirely sure. Also, it might help if you get rid of the "but it doesn't seem to last", just because that can be confusing and it might help streamline it a little bit. Overall, very good poem, with an interesting theme.
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Charismatic-Maiden Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2012  Student General Artist
I understand. However, "but it doesn't seem to last" wasn't really included in the poem. That, or I might just be blind.

Thank you for the critique!
shadowsmokeandfire Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
No problem!
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